P.M.S. I love you

english below

Nedavno sam, u neobaveznoj šetnji Beogradom, primetila natpis na majici nepoznatog čoveka koji me je silno zabavio. ˝Sve mi daj, da bog da mi preselo!˝, pisalo je. Pošto je prilično brzo skliznuo u masu, nisam stigla da vidim o čemu se tačno radi, ali mislim da je u pitanju slogan neke studentske organizacije ili slično. To je to, pomislila sam. Potrebna mi je ova majica i potrebna mi je odmah. Potrebna mi je prvenstveno za sve one duge romantične šetnje do frižidera u ponoć. Samo parčence sira. I još jedno. I još jedno. A kad sam već tu, mogla bih i nešto slatko. Kockica čokolade. Tri štangle. 100g. Ups. Jeste li vi znali da se, ako otvorite i zatvorite frižider više puta u razmaku od nekoliko minuta, ništa novo neće pojaviti unutra (I know, right?!). Toliko sam puta sprovodila ovaj mali eksperiment u toplini svoga doma, da sam, naime, došla do još šokantnijih otkrića: ne samo da se ništa novo neće pojaviti unutra, već će broj namirnica opadati proporcionalno broju posezanja za vratima frižidera. Hjuuu. Šta je sledeće? Deda Mraz ne postoji? Svašta.

Te ponoćne šetnje u mom slučaju postaju sve češće kako se bliži onaj ˝blaženi˝ period  u mesecu, svima poznatiji kao PMS (popizd-mrzovolja-stres/plazma-mleko-serija/pazi-me-se). Tih nekoliko dana pakla svode se na nemoguće balansiranje između psihopate i emotivca u meni. Sve što želim je da se posvađam sa svima koje poznajem (poželjno u isto vreme) dok u jednoj ruci držim kantu sladoleda, a u drugoj svu ušteđevinu koju planiram da potrošim na kožni novčanik u koji kasnije neću imati šta da stavim. Sve to je, naravno, periodično ispresecano neutešnim plakanjem nad najbanalnijim scenama iz života.

U svom tom haosu, nije teško primetiti da je jedna jedina konstanta – hrana. Tačnije, šećer. U svim oblicima i agregatnim stanjima. Odložim polupraznu člansku kartu iz fitnes kluba negde na dno savesti i prepustim se. Kapkejk ne postavlja suvišna pitanja, kapkejk razume. Onaj sa jagodom neće zameriti ako se danas odlučim za čokoladni, i baš zato ću uzeti oba. Zaslužili su.

Ovog meseca imam sreće da svoje pazi-me-se dane provodim u roditeljskom gnezdu gde se mirisi svežeg peciva i topljene čokolade šire kućom češće nego što bi to moj kupaći želeo. Jednostavno, uvek ima šta da se čapne, gricne i štipne, a kada mi se i učini da nema, moja majka i njen čarobni mikser me relativno brzo razuvere. Lagala bih kada bih rekla da mi takav tretman ne prija, a što se tiče šortsa misliću o tome sutra (ili od ponedeljka).

Vođena opojnim mirisima cimeta i šećera u prahu, ovaj put sam odlučila da zajedno sa vama zavirim u knjižicu lakih recepata za krizne situacije moje gospodže majke. Moja mama već par godina deli svoja kulinarska (i mnoga druga) umeća na svom blogu KO TO TAMO, pa je logičan sled događaja da upravo ona postane moj lični food urednik. Moje želje su ovoga puta skromne. Sve što želim je da znam kako da na brzinu napravim savršeni kapkejk, i kako da ga, nakon što izađe iz rerne, savršeno dekorišem. Priprema, pozor, sad!

KO TO TAMO: Pa, helou. Ko se to tamo nije pronašao u tekstu gore neka nam se podhitno javi, bude drug i otkrije tajnu. Do tada, stari, oprobani način za ovu nevolju koja nas iz meseca u mesec sikira. A kad već mora tako… nek bude onako kao kad ste se prvi put zaljubili… sve nekako čokoladno, pa sjajno, pa pomalo voćno i preliveno karamelom… Jer – mi smo to zaslužile 😉

 

OSNOVA

3 jaja

1 čaša jogurta

1 čaša ulja

1/2 čaše šećera

2 čaše brašna

1 kašičica praška za pecivo

2 vanilin šećera

*čaša je od jogurta

Peći u papirnim korpicama ili modlama za mafine oko 40 minuta u prethodno ugrejanoj rerni na 180 stepeni, tj. dok ne dobiju lepu rumenu boju.

 

ČOKOLADNI PRELIV

Otopiti 150gr crne čokolade u 150ml slatke pavlake. Paziti da ne provri. Ohladiti dobro pa umutiti mikserom krem.

 

KARAMEL PRELIV

Otopiti 10 karamel bombona sa 4 kašike slatke pavlake. Paziti da ne provri. Topli preliv rasporediti preko mafina.

 

VOĆNI PRELIV

U umućenu slatku pavlaku dodati ispasirano voće po želji.

Prijatno!

 

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Some time ago, while strolling the streets of Belgrade, writting on some man’s tshirt caught my eye. It said ˝Give me all of it, I hope I suffocate˝. He slipped into the crowd pretty quickly, so I couldn’t see what was that all about, but I think the writiing was some kind of slogan. That’s it, I thought. I need this tshirt and I need it now. For starters, I need it for those long romantic walks to the fridge at midnight. Only a scrap of cheese. And another. And another. And when I’m at it, I could really use some chocolate. Just a speck. Or 100g. Oops. And did you know that if you open and close your fridge several times in the span of a few minutes, nothing new will appear inside (I know, right ?!). I have conducted this little experiment so many times, that I have in fact drawn more shocking  conclusions: not only that nothing new will appear inside, but the food will start to disappear. Huh. What’s next? Santa Claus does not exist? Whatever.

These midnight strolls in my case tend to be more often as I approach the blissfull period of the month, also known as PMS (Potential – Murder – Suspect / Purchase – More – Shoes).  It all comes down to impossible balancing between a psychopath me and a sensitive me. All I want is to pick a fight with everyone I know (preferably at the same time) while holding hostage a bucket of ice cream and all of my savings that I plan on spending on the leather wallet which I won’t have anything to put in afterwards. All of this is, of course, periodically interspersed with disconsolate crying over pretty much everything.

In all that chaos, it’s easy to notice one constant thing – food. Specifically, sugar. In all shapes and physical states. So, I hide my gym membership somewhere at the bottom of conscience and let it go. Cupcakes don’t ask questions, they understand. The strawberry cream one won’t mind if I choose chocolate chip one, and therefore I’ll take both.

This month, I’m spending my PMS days in my parent’s house where the smell of fresh biscuits and melted chocolate floats in the air more often than my bikini would like. It’s just there is always something to grab and munch on, and even when there isn’t, my mother does her magic and voila – desert is ready! I’d be lying if I said I do not enjoy such treatment, and as for my beach body – I’ll think about that tomorrow (or Monday).

Guided by the sweet scents of cinnamon and powdered sugar, I decided to peek into my mom’s little book of easy recipes. My mom already shares her culinary (and many other) skills on her blog KO TO TAMO, and now it’s only logical for her to become my own little food editor on The Sad Bear. My wishes are simple this time. All I wanna know is how to quickly make and decorate a perfect cupcake. So, bring it on!

KO TO TAMO: Howdy! Well, this is so relatable. If you don’t think so, please do share with us your secret! Until then, here’s a good old way to dance around those few days of hell we all get to deal with once a month. So let it be as if it’s that first summer love of yours all over again – sparkly and juicy and fruity and caramel flavoured with chocolate on top. Bon apetit!

 

BASE

3 eggs

1 glass of yogurt

1 glass of sunflower oil

1/2 glass of sugar

2 glasses of flour

1 coffee spoon of baking powder

2 bags of vanilla powder (2 spoons)

Bake the mixture in paper cups or in a muffin pan for 40 minutes in pre-heated (180°C).

CHOCOLATE FROSTING

Melt 150g of dark chocolate in 150ml of cream and be careful not to boil it. Let the mixture cool down and then stir it with hand mixer.

KARAMEL DIP

Melt 10 pieces of caramel fudge in 4 spoons of cream and be careful not to boil it.

FRUITY CREAM

Add the desired fruit (preferably strawberries or raspberries) to whiped cream.

Bon Apetit!